It's festival time!!

It's October time. There is something about this season, especially in north India. The air carries with it the smell & feel of festivals. First Navratris,Durga  Pooja, then Dusshera, karwa chauth & finally Diwali. There's something serene about it. The mornings are fresher than usual. Evenings are beautiful than ever ( Sham - e- Awadh). 

Festivals bring with them a much needed break & enjoyment. It seems they are very much part of our life. Our culture determines who we are. It seems we feel incomplete without them. They are worth every effort. They give purpose to life. Imagine our entire population working throughout year, without break. We may achieve great economic numbers, but we'll miss out on life. 

Festivals are best celebrated with family & friends & if possible at native place. The call of inner self to be with your own people is strongest at the time of festivals. Life wants you to take a break from hectic schedule. I particularly feel that Indian festivals are a great way of having work - life balance. Imagine the time of May - August. No. festivals, No holidays. We desperately wait for Rakshabandhan.  And how we celebrate then!! Full on Masti!! 

Traditions & festivals bring the much needed excitement in life. They satisfy emotional need of humans of social gathering, group enjoyment & family bonding. They infuse a fresh energy level to return to work with much enthusiasm. 

And how can we forget those mouth watering delicacies. Each house prepares a different version of the same dish. And we enjoy all of them!! Even though our ancestors had a better physical activity than us, yet they made the traditions in such a scientific way. They reserved special foods ( poori - kachori, even daals etc. ) to be taken only on specific days. That not only keeps us healthy by restricting fries foods to special occasions, but also keeps the excitemet level up for festivals. 

India is a land of festivals. It's a land of traditions & culture, something we value so much. Festivals bind us, from north to south, east to west. They give us a sense of who we are. They are our roots. 

Wish you all a great festive season. Keep celebrating!! 

Dear Children, We Love You!

Dear Children,

Sub: We Love you!

Let me introduce myself to you. I am mother of a young, beautiful, chirpy, happy going girl. She is just like you. She smiles when I see her. She gets angry when I scold her. She throws tantrum at me for eating food. She makes noise if she wants anything. Just like you! No matter what, I Love her, and will always do. I have brought her in this world. I prayed to God for her. I sought blessings from my elders that I get a child. She is my biggest treasure. She is my heartbeat. She is as dear to me as oxygen is for life. But does that mean that I should spoil her? All because I love her?

You know what dear children, with greater power comes greater responsibility. When we bring you into this beautiful world, we have a responsibility, responsibility to make you good human beings. We have a responsibility towards society as well. We need to have a good moral society. For that we need good people, and only good children can be a good person. Whatever you learn at home and at school makes you the person you are! It's true for everyone on this planet!

For each stage of your development we had to adopt a different methodology. Sometimes we have to make you understand through love, sometimes as friend, sometimes we have to laugh at your demands and sometimes we have to be strict. We have to say No to lot many things because we know that's not reasonable or it may harm you. It may irritate you. You may be angry with us. But that's necessary. I know you can't understand the reason, I didn't too when I was of your age. But I trusted my parents that if they are stopping us from doing anything, it is for my own benefit. I also had the same reaction as of yours, but over a period of time I realized the path I was choosing was a wrong one! I thanked God, now knowing the consequences!

You people are pretty little souls. There's so much happening inside you! Hormonal changes, Stress of studies, peer pressure, parental pressure, societal pressure and what not! Please discuss whatever is happening in your life. Please discuss your happiness as well as sorrows. Discuss your aspirations, your dreams, even if it is unconventional and different from what we think. Discuss your problems, fight with us if we do not understand, discuss anything unusual you see or feel. Discuss your feelings, your emotions. My dear children, you are just exploring yourself. Make us also a part of your journey. Don't keep it to yourself. We are here, we are listening and we understand! We will do whatever it takes to sort your problems. We are your parents; there is no one in this world as close to you as we are. We have seen it all! We know you inside out. We know there is a generation gap, but my dear children, we understand the differences!  We will sort it out. Please don't make generation gap as communication gap. We will always stand for what is good for you.  We will stand for you! We will always be there for you even if you are wrong!

Don't be guilty of anything wrong you have done, knowingly or unknowingly. Discuss with us. May be we know how to tackle it in a way which you even can't imagine. No mistake is bigger than your life! Life is too big to end it for some mistake. There's always another chance! There's always a new dawn! Always remember, Repentance is the biggest punishment! If you really feel sorry for anything, God forgives you then & there! Nobody else matters! Come to us! We will listen to you, we will not judge you, we will help you, and we’ll stand by you! We will give you courage to face the world, we will hold your hands in turbulent waters, we will be your emotional support. But please come to us! Give us a chance! Don't take drastic steps! You are not alone. We are always there for you. We love you sunshine! You are the reason for our existence in this world. Rest all is secondary. 

You don't know our pain when you leave us forever. You leave for the heavenly adobe but we experience hell here on Earth! We can't forgive ourselves for not being there for you when you needed us the most! We curse ourselves that why couldn't we develop that confidence in you that you can come to us and discuss anything...ANYTHING..on this Earth! We die each day, each night, each moment, each breath, just waiting for our turn to unite with you again. May be in heaven we could hug you and say - We Love you! Please just think about us before you take the dreaded, drastic, draconian step! 

Yours lovingly

A mother

Overburdened Middle Class

Before I start my write up, let me be very clear that I am not presenting my arguments based upon any data ( You will get too many of them on internet, data as well as analysis, both positive & negative). Just like my other blogs, it's simply reflection of my thoughts  and emotions.

After Modi's win in 2019, I was (and I am) extremely enthusiastic. I have full faith in that man's intentions and work. I know he is working very hard to make a unified, developed India. A land so culturally rich should be financially and technically rich too. He is working in that direction and I am pretty sure the results would flow soon.

But, after the budget, I was extremely disappointed. I was happy for the fundamental changes he is bringing in India. They were long long overdue. But, for that they have to tax us. We are highly educated people ( I mean not only me, but major middle class), honestly pay taxes, have just 1 or 2 children, yet our money is for past 70 years being spend to uplift those people who do not study, pay absolutely no taxes (I exclude Indirect tax - GST here) and reproduce 6-8 children. I mean, is this fair? Our incomes are not rising that much. Even MNC's are giving nominal hikes. How do government expect us to save & spend? Aren't we being reduced to just hand & mouth? 

Some people may argue that since we have high disposable income, we spend lavishly. Please tell me if that's a crime. First I work hard to earn, and then I should be restricted to use it for my pleasures? 

I agree that we all should make little sacrifices for our brother citizens. But how much that sacrifice should be? Tax is like a what clouds take from oceans and rain them on the rivers. It does not cause any major discomfort to Ocean to replenish the rivers. But our taxation system leave us with little blood to survive. 

What social security measures do I get after paying all taxes. Look at the cost of education, legal and medical services in our country. Can GoI provide quality education, legal and health services to us, at least for reasonable cost, if not free. No! We have to go to private players for that who charge us exorbitantly. What about our fundamental right to life. Is clean air & water not part of it?  What about social securities that I should get for my money paid as tax? 

Such government policies which are pro poor  (Good!) but have little empathy for middle class, will eventually expedite brain drain for obvious reasons. What pains me most is that such policies have long been adopted since 80s and 90s and should have delivered the results by now. Because of cancerous corruption running through India, we are again adopting the same socialist policies which should have been abandoned by now.  We have been funding the poor for the past 70 years and I really wonder till when we have to continue doing that. I am totally disappointed with the system. I feel it's a sin, a curse to be a middle class in India. 

I feel neither Congress nor Modi nor any other government is responsible for our plight. It is we as a citizen  are responsible for such mess. We chose such corrupt people. Somehow, we deserve this. As you sow, so shall we reap. 

Distance makes the heart grow fonder!!

On 31st May 2019, Abhishek went to USA for a short trip of 15 days. I was elated! This was long time pending. It was not about money, but the kind of work exposure Abhishek would get there, Simple feeling of how happy he would be, made me extreeeemely happy. I wanted to shout and hug him and tell him How much happy I am and that I love him a lot ( I did later ;-)). But I didn't knew that something very strange is going to happen to me now. 

Ever since our marriage in 2011, we have always been together. We worked in the same company and sat on the same floor. Working together gave us time to have our lunch, brunch and tea together. We went together and returned together. Even when we shifted to Lucknow, we had always been together as Abhishek worked from home and I had quit my job. Thereafter, Ananya was born and he stayed with us throughout. It's been 4 years since then!!

This is the first time in these seven and a half years, that he went so far from me. To be very honest, I never realised that I love him so much till he went away. I missed him dearly. I felt sad, I was heartbroken, I felt miserable. There were other family members too in the house, but still I felt lonely. I wished I had wings so that I may fly to him, to be with him.  I used to wait for his calls like a teenage lover. Continuously checking my mobile, if he messaged or called. Was so happy to see his pics. Loved the video calls (thanks to such modern technologies!!), left all work just to talk to him. Phew..and what not!!

I heard that the distance makes the heart grow fonder, I now realise how. I know realise why marriages are important. I know why couples are called as soul mates. I can't thank God and my parents enough.  May the love grows stronger each day!! Amen!!

Maa ka Ghar

It's been 8 years of my marriage. Yet, everytime I visit my mom's home, I feel nostalgic. I miss being loved, cared and being pampered the way they use to do. I realise that marriage and associated responsibilities have taken away the girl inside me. I miss being chirpy, I miss being like a blossoming flower each day, I miss those eyes whose one glance comforted me, I miss being able to say anything without fear of being judged or criticised, I miss being myself,  I miss my home. 

Everytime I see my daughter, I make a promise to myself, that I will never allow her to loose her innocence. I will always protect her. I pray to God to please help me do that. I pray to God to please protect her. I pray each day, each night, every moment.

Earlier, I use to question myself, why the hell did everyone wants us to get married? It's just a pleasure of few years. But, now I realise the reason. My husband had been very loving to me, he cares for me, he loves me. There are certain little things he do, that makes me fond of him. Initially, these things did not show up, but, as the time passes by, the bond of relationship grows stronger. I now realise, that my parents married me to him so that when they are not there, I would have someone to spend my life with. Otherwise, in this populous world, there would not be a single soul with whom I could open up. 

Being born to such good parents is the best thing that happened to me. I would always be thankful to God for giving me such parents. I miss them,  I desperately miss them. 

 

Why hate India?

One LinkedIn post & I realise Indians love to hate & criticise India. People move to western world & from there they see just the shortcomings. I want to ask all of them, aren't western world have there own set of problems? Are they not working towards it?

So is it with India. We accept our shortcomings but we are also working towards them. People sitting far away cannot see the positive changes happening in the lives of people here. And as far as our strength goes, we are incomparable.

Our culture is our biggest strength. Our values are our guiding principles. But somehow our education system has transformed us to curse ourselves. We have been blinded to see only the dark side of India but nobody can stop the shine of this beautiful land. 

All those Indians sitting abroad and criticising India, I want to ask you, what have you done for your fellow citizens? Did you vote, did you help reach the government schemes to your household helps?

If you stay abroad, you are the brand ambassador of your country. Did you mind your conduct out there? When you break law outside, you bring shame to entire nation and our entire race, but still you do it. Similarly, when you criticise your own home land, you ensure that others also throw mud on you.  Can you ever disassociate yourself from your origination? 

I appreciate how the western world had made progress and I accept that we need to learn a lot from them. But that can also be done by not belittling your own country. Its like, Sasural accha  ( rich) hai to apna ghar bahut ganda lagne lga. It's like cursing your mother for being dark when your mom in law is a chick. But do you realise how much that black lady has done for you. What all sacrifices she has made to make you what you are today and make you reach where you are? Time is the biggest teacher. I wish you learn soon.

I am angry, I am disappointed by few. But I know there are lot many out there whose heart beats for India no matter where they stay.  Opportunities have taken them away but their soul resides in India. and it the those people, that India places its trust upon. You are the one who can bring long awaitied repute  and respect for India. 

And yes, I am proud of democracy of india. I am proud of my current PM  & all previous governments. Until we value ourselves, until we respect ourselves, until we develop self esteem, no body in this world is going to respect us. Jai Hind!!

Somya Bajpai