Time Management -I ( Students)

Hello! My dear students, here I am again! On your request I am writing how to manage your time. But, is it really possible to do that? Remember Mahabharata of 90's - "Main Samay hoon! Kaal ka chakra kisi ke liye nhi rukta!" (I am time and I stop for none). That means time will pass, no matter what.  How YOU choose to utilize that time determines success or failure.

God has been very kind to us. He has impartially given us 24 hours. Each one of us get the same amount of time. Neither a second less, nor a second more! But sometimes it appears that the other person has got some extra time to cover all his tasks while we are still struggling to reach half way even though its time to retire for bed! Result? Tension, worry, guilt feeling, mounting pressure etc. Next day we have new tasks to perform over and above of what is left of yesterday. That means we are piling lots of work with limited capacity and ability to finish them. Consequently, we miss deadlines for assignments, couldn't complete our course before exams, no proper revision etc.etc.etc.

What could be the possible reason?  The reason is your choice of work in those 24 hours. How that choice will be determined depends on your planning and determination! Whatever you have determined, do it with full vigor! Did you decide to study or socialize? If  your decision is to study, then to study what? Was it your favorite subject or the neglected one? If you decide to socialize, how much time you have spent on that? Was it the RIGHT TIME to do that?

I have some tips for you. For convenience the topic has been divided into three sections:

1. Regular College days
2. Examination Preparation days
3. During Examination time

Regular College Days

Make a time table of your daily activity. For example:

5:30 AM                     - Wake up

5:30-6:00 AM             - Freshen up/ read newspaper

6:00-7:00 AM             - Exercise

7:00-8:00 AM             - Self study

8:00- 8:30 AM            -Getting ready for college, including breakfast

8:30- 9:00 AM            - Travel time

9:00 AM - 2:00 PM     - College

2:00- 2:30 PM             - Lunch & Travelling

2:30 - 3:30 PM            - Coaching/ Learning other skill set

3:30 - 4:00 PM            - Travelling

4:00 - 4:30 PM            - Rest/Power nap/watching TV etc

4:30 - 6:30 PM            - Self study

6:30 - 6:45 PM            - Rest/ Socializing, including FB, Watsapp etc

6:45 - 9:15 PM            - Self Study

9:15- 9:45 PM             - Dinner

9:45 - 10:30 PM          - Self Study

10:30 PM - 5:30 AM   - Sleep

This is just an example. You can make your own schedule accordingly. Please keep the following points in consideration while preparing your schedule:

• Always take out time for self study. There is no substitute for that. Your college & coaching is waste if you do not put your own efforts. Also, Please DO NOT be completely dependent on coaching. When you join coaching center, they presume that you have certain basic level of knowledge. If you don't have that it is very unlikely that you will be benefited in a substantial way through it. Secondly, always make your concepts through good books rather than solely depending on coaching notes. Notes may be complete for examination purpose, but they do not make concepts. For that you have to work hard. You may pass the exam, but the real battle starts thereafter, for Jobs and career progression. Trust me, if you concepts are loose, you will find it extremely hard in the real world! So concentrate on concepts rather than just examination passing tips! Also, some students tend to make rough notes in class and fair them out afterwards. This is a complete time waste! Fair it out when you are taking down the notes first time itself. Have a strong concentration in class. Nothing can match the class room studies when the teacher is in front of you. So make the most use of it. Lastly, if you do not revise, you will forget! Even the most intelligent child ( I generally don't stick to traditional way of judging one's intelligence, but for understanding let's consider it to be the class topper) will forget what is taught in the class if he skips his regular revisions. 
• Make a time table for the subjects to be studied in a particular day. It may be all the subjects covered either in your college or coaching that day. Allocate time to study ALL the subjects! Spend regular time to study the one which is of least interest to you. That way you will build up your weak area. If you give all your time to one subject only, which is of course of your interest, you will do it at the cost of other subjects, But for passing the examinations, you need to qualify in all the subjects. So study more the subject you like but don't neglect others!
• To study individually or in group is your decision. Usually group study is better as two brains are better than one but only if group studies and not indulge in gossips and other activities. Also group studies can only be successful if they are backed by very strong individual studies. Further, only if all the members of the group contribute to the studies than all can benefit. Otherwise, it will be beneficial to some and detrimental to others.
• Spend at the most 15 - 20 min for reading news paper. That would be all to cover the relevant news and keep you updated.. 
• Spend only 15- 30 min in socializing. If it is online, you cannot afford to spare more than 15 min. When I set the time limit, I mean it for entire day. If you check your mobile at every notification, you don't realize how much time you have wasted! Pre decide at what time you wish to check your notifications. Do not touch your mobile phones between that. Don't attend unnecessary calls. They are a big time waste! Alternatively, if it is meeting your friend in person, make it a short visit to cut it in maximum 30 min. Roaming and talking unnecessarily are unproductive work. Your time is too precious to be spend on these activities. Keep your goodbyes a short one. Talks has no end! Limit them! If you are talking, give your talks a direction which helps you in achieving your goals, like discussing problem you are facing in any subject.
• Travelling time is beyond your control. Getting frustrated over traffic and distance will do no good. Instead, use your travel time. You can prepare for the topic which is going to be covered in the lecture today, revise what has been taught in college, have your lunch or just have a power nap to refresh yourself! That way you save up your time! You will have more time to explore those areas which were neglected because of our tight schedule!
• Have a healthy diet. If your health is doing fine, you will be more energetic and will have good concentration. As far as possible, keep away from junk and market food! Mother's cooked is the tastiest and the healthiest! I know it's difficult, but keep it to the minimum. Restrict yourself to having junk only once a month! 
• Rest do not necessarily mean sleep. It could be a brisk walk or your hobby like singing, dancing, playing guitar, painting or just talking to your mom! Anything that re- energizes you to get back to study table!
• Exercising is very very important. It keeps one in good shape, maintains health and also keep you energized for the whole day!  Don't skip exercise!
• Last but not the least, have a sound sleep. When you sleep, your mind should be free from all worries and tensions!. This phase is extremely necessary as it rejuvenates the body for next day!
• Remember, this is the time where you get ample time to build your concepts. If you have not done it now, you will never find the time to do so.

Examination Preparation days

Now your preparation leaves have started. What to do now?

• Make a schedule of your daily activity along with how much time you are going to spend on each activity. Just like the way in the above given example. Obviously, now major part of your time would be devoted to studies rather than anything else.
• Make a list of all the topics that you are required (and not want) to study in different subjects. You may not choose to complete 100% syllabus (though it is advisable), but the more you skip, the less marks you are probable of getting. For example if you choose to cover 70% of the syllabus, than you can anyways be judged by your attempt of 70% question paper. If you do it 100% correct (which is rare) , the max you can get is 70/100 and never more than that!. Further, you will loose out the concept of that 30% syllabus which you opted to miss. Here I want to mention that quality also matters. If you attempt 100% question paper but effectively write only 60% correct answers, than even though you have attempted a higher percentage of questions, yet you will score low. 
• Allocate specific time to each subject and each topic in it. Give more weight- age to that subject/topic which is your weak point. Keep revising your interest subjects as well. Don't be overconfident! 
• While making your schedule, prepare it in such a fashion that the subject which is due last in your examination schedule, is revised first, whereas, the first exam is revised at the last. That way your memory would be fresh for the first  paper and you will be confident of other subjects as well.
• This phase is not for starting a fresh but for revisions. The more you revise, the better would be the results.

Examination days

Now comes the D day! The examinations have arrived! Stress levels are at all time high! How to manage oneself during this period? 

• Don't start anything new in this period.
• Just revise what you have already studied.
• If your paper did not go as per your expectation, do not ponder over it. You can't change what has already happened. But you can certainly compensate it in next paper. Thinking about past paper will demotivate you. So just forget it!
• Stick to your body clock. Do not change it just because all your friends are studying late night. If rising early suits you, stick to that!. Any change in between can prove extremely costly.
• After your papers, do not discuss it. Rush back to prepare for your next exams. Also, by discussing you may realize your mistakes which you committed in the paper and thereby demoralizing you for next one.
• Relax in between the studies. It is very necessary to bring down the stress levels and freshen up the mind. But do not overdo it. Remember, you have limited time.
• Prepare your clothes, bag, stationary , admit card etc. a day before. It gives you some more time for revision on the day of the exam.
• Arrive at your examination center on time. Neither too early or late.
• Don't see other students either before or during the exams. Be confident of your own preparation. 
• Don't think that if other person is taking 1 or 2 extra sheets, he knows more than you or will get extra marks. Quality matters over quantity! 

That's it! Phew! Is it difficult? No, it just requires a strong will to implement!.

Let me highlight some major time waste activities for students:

1. The list is topped by more than required sleeping.
2. Next is Social Network sites like facebook, G+, Twitter, watsapp etc.
3. Day dreaming.
4. Long telephonic calls
5. Hanging around with friends
6. Watching TV
7.  Spending too much time on reading news paper (basically irrelevant news).
8. Long eating/ bathing hours.
9. Attending all the family functions.

Time is fixed, We cannot change that. But we can certainly change our daily activities to make the best use of it! Hope you find it useful! All the best!

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Effective Communication

Humans are the most advanced animal species created by God. What differentiate us from other species is that we have the tool of language to communicate with each other. However, we do not make best use of the communication power to excel in every aspect of life.   Is communication required only for professional success? No! By being a good communicator we make not only our professional life but personal life also less complicated, happy and satisfied. The main reason is that an effective communicator is able to effectively and satisfactorily convey his thoughts and feelings to the other party and get the desired results. Imagine the kind of stress one has to tackle when his/her work is getting delayed because the other party is not understanding the instructions properly thereby making mistakes and therefore requires repetition of the message. It delays the work, increases stress and strain the relationship! Thus, it is very essential to master this very important skill. But how? Let's find out.

First let us Define Communication (latin word: communicare) - communication is the act of conveying intended meaning from one entity or groups to other through the use of mutually understood language and signs. In simple language it means to convey message, idea or feelings from one individual to another, through a common medium, so that it is understood by the other party and the purpose/ intent is achieved.

Parties to communication -  There are two parties : Sender & Receiver

"Sender" is the person who starts the conversation. It may be an idea, thought, message, feeling or instruction. "Receiver" is the person to whom the message is intended or directed to.  Let us take the example of a class. The sender is the teacher "A" who is communicating with the students to impart a concept whereas the students " X,Y & Z" are the receiver who are listening to their teacher to gain knowledge.

Is it that whatever teacher teaches in the class is understood by all? More often than not , the answer is negative. That means somewhere, some link is broken because of which the teacher and the student do not lie on the same page as far as the understanding of the concept is involved.  A failed communication is a result of fault of either one or both the parties to communication. So let us now discuss what are the factors that hinder proper communication? They are also known as "Barriers to Communication". For our convenience, I have bifurcated them into Sender's issue, Receiver's issue and Common issues. They are:

Sender's Issue -

1. Unclear idea/thoughts - If the sender is himself not clear of the idea or thoughts that he wants to deliver, it is impossible for him to convey them appropriately to the audience. Thus, it is very essential that before communicating, one should have clarity in his mind of what he wants to tell.
2. Choice of wrong medium and language - The medium should be the one which is most convenient to all. If it is possible to convey the message face to face, it should be done, instead of texting in any form. It may be meeting in person or through video conferencing. If not, that medium should be chosen which is convenient to both like voice call, email, text message or watsapp. Similarly, the language should be as simple as possible. Always remember, the whole purpose of the language is that the underlying message should be successfully conveyed so that it is completely understood and thereafter satisfactorily worked upon by the other party. It is not to impress others. Don't use jargon. Use that language which is easily understandable by the receiver. 
3. Ego or wrong attitude - One should have respect for their audience. The felling of "I know it all" doesn't help. Have an empathetic attitude towards the listeners. If you have ego or attitude problem, that will certainly reflect in your words and action. The receiver will catch those signals and will develop resistance to your thoughts. Thus, leading to complete failure of communication. Not only this, such behavior may entice the receiver to act in complete disagreement to your instructions, thereby spoiling the work and causing troubles. In extreme cases it may lead to irreparable damage to relations. It is said that " you may win an argument, but you loose the opponent" It means that though you have been able to convince the other person with your explanations but in doing that you have pulled the relation to a point of no return. Always speak in a fashion where there is a win -win situation for both the parties.
4. Lack of interest in the topic of discussion - If the sender is uninterested in the topic of discussion, he will put only half efforts to explain it to others.  
5. Inappropriate choice of time, place or situation -  Choice of time and place is very important. If you try to put your point at a time when the receiver is in hurry, or there is some function at home, it is highly probable that your words would go unnoticed. Similarly, if somebody is grieving for some personal loss, and you try to tell that person about some fantastic business idea, it will go in vain! More soever, you are at risk of being called stupid for such behavior. Somethings are discussed in public and some in private. Choice of place should be such that in all situation the reputation of the receiver is not compromised. 
6. Lack of co-ordination between words , tone and body language - The words we speak should resonate with the tone, facial expression and body language. The receiver judge 40% of the conversation via vocal tone, pitch etc, 50% from facial expression and only 10% from words! So if there is any discrepancy in co-ordination of all the three, the receiver, in all probability, is going to ignore your words and will determine your intention from other means.
7. Poor listening skills - We all have heard this phrase that God has given us two ears and one mouth so that we speak less and listen more. Well, that is absolutely true! Only if you listen to the other party with full concentration, you will understand better the strengths, weakness and requirements of the you other party. Accordingly, you can customize your message to suit individual need. It saves a lot of time and effort! 
8.  Assumptions/Emotions -  Do not look at a person from any frame. That means, you should not judge a person or situation based either on someone else opinion or cause you think that other person will not understand based on no logical reasoning. The moment we assume, we develop resistance to approach the other party will full faith and honesty. You are therefore unable to  communicate your point effectively and hence the consequences follow.
9. Not selecting the right audience for communication -  It is very important to know the profile of the audience whom you are addressing to. Accordingly, the matter, medium and language is decided. Also, "How Much" is to be told is determined by the type of audience.  
10. Over expressive or less expressive way of communicating the idea - In either case the attention is shifted from the content to the expressions. They ( expressions) should be just right to convey your message, neither too much nor too less.
11. Unable to summarize the discussion and hence leaving loose ends as to what needs to be done - Summarizing helps in conveying what actually the whole conversation was about. It helps the receiver to conclude, in a short and effective manner, as to what all he needs to do , leaving no scope for confusion and ambiguity.
12.  Not getting feedback -  Once you have finished your side of conversation, ask the other party to re-phrase it. It confirms if both the parties have similar understanding or if there is some misunderstanding.  

Receiver's Issues

1. Inattentive - If the receiver is not paying attention to the sender's talk, it is a one sided conversation, and thus can never be succesful.
2. Uninterested in the topic -  If the topic is not of the interest of the receiver, he will not put efforts to listen and understand it. 
3. Mind is preoccupied with other thoughts -  When we speak, we can speak comfortably at 100-150 words per minute. However, our brain process at 450-500 words per minute. That means for some time, even during conversation, the listener's mind is processing some other thoughts. These thoughts divert the attention from the conversation and even if you are hearing but not listening. Sometimes we say, "sorry can you please repeat again? I was thinking about something else!" . It happens because of lack of concentration. 
4.  Assumptions/Emotions -  The listener should not assume as to what the speaker is about to tell. Pre judgments blocks the mind so that it does not become receptive to new ideas , thoughts or instructions. 
5. Poor Listening skills -  The receiver should also have good listening skill, especially patience to listen to somebody else and not force his thoughts on others.
6. Ego or wrong attitude -  The law is same for both sender and receiver. If the receiver thinks that he knows everything and whatever the sender would tell will be of no use to him, he will certainly miss some points which may be new and important to him.

Common Issues

1. External distractions - Like if you are conversing and different people are coming just to wish you a hello! Breakage of talks at regular or irregular intervals, sucks the life out of the conversation.
2. Noise - It means too much sound at the place of communication so that it becomes impossible to communicate.

After having understood the factors which leads to communication failure, let us now look as to what steps need to be taken to overcome them.

How to improve communication skills

• Improve listening skills
• Be clear in your thoughts and ideas. 
• Think before you speak
• Improve your knowledge base
• Increase your vocabulary
• Develop empathy
• Do not judge people
• Work on body posture and appearence
• Work on voice modulation
• Develop and control expressions
• Do not assume 
• Have a control on your emotions (Love, anger, excitement, sadness etc)
• Develop concentration power
• If possible, make a note of the important points of discussion
• Don't interrupt when other person is speaking
• Keep Smiling
• Ask open ended questions instead of the ones the answer of which is either Yes or No
• Keep asking relevant and intelligent questions which shows that you are genuinely listening
• Be assertive

How does communication skills help

• Develops confidence
• Increases respect in the society
• Decreases stress
• Improve relations
• Lot of unwanted problems are avoided
• Saves lot of time and energy
• Gives a sense of satisfaction

Despite all, it is impossible to have 100% successful communication at all times! However, efforts should be to be as close to perfection as possible. So go ahead and develop yourself.

Want to make your career in bank? Read the character traits required for banking industry

Banking jobs have always been lucrative. Good pay, employee benefits, respected job, job security etc. make it one of the most sought job profiles in India. Lot many people inspire to be a part of robust Indian economy through banking channel. But what  are the traits required for a successful banking career.  Do you have them in you? Find out! 
Please note that here I am illustrating the traits required for the entry level employees only.

1. Personality Traits - These are those traits which are inherent in one's​ character. Given the fact that every day frauds in banks are making headlines, these traits are the MOST IMPORTANT of all. They are:

• Honesty
• Integrity 
• Compliance

Honesty means that you perform your job without any bias and unfairness. In banking job it means that you perform you job with full conviction and without delaying it. It also means that you have thoroughly verified your work (like vouchers or loan papers) before passing it on to your senior (or colleague) for counter checking. If you are handling cash, then one has to be very careful of accepting or disbursing the currency. Same is the case with one who posts the entry. Any discrepancy in cash transactions may put a question mark on your honesty. When you are new into job, money through wrong means attract you. That's because it is an easy money. You will require years of service to generate that money with honesty. But dishonesty has short life. Once caught, your career is finished. An honest person is always valued in an organization. He rises high not only in his career but also in the eyes of others! Dishonesty is like a Ponzi scheme whereas honesty is like FD. Honesty is a virtue which one should have for living a happy & satisfied life. It not only helps you in professional world but in personal life as well. One gets demotivated when a dishonest person gets appreciation over honest person. The reason is that a dishonest person performs the work faster than his other counterpart. If you want to get recognition for your good work, make sure you complete it faster than the others! 

Integrity means that you stand by our values. Every one talks of values but when it comes to actually following them, it is one of a task. A person with strong integrity live those values. For example, you are manager and have the power for loan disbursement. One day one of your senior (people from senior management) ask you to sanction the loan of one of their known client.  You know that this person has earlier defaulted loans in other banks. Now that is where the values comes into picture. How to stand by your values even though there is lot of pressure. How not to do wrong even though the order comes from the top. Always remember,  It is the Bank that have hired you and not your Boss! Therefore, all the employees of the bank irrespective of position, are your colleagues! You are not subordinate to anybody! It is the Bank's money (actually public money)  that you are investing to get appropriate return and not to oblige anybody. Be smart to tackle pressure but stick to your principles. Know what is correct and device ways to do correct things correctly. You can avoid and tackle such pressure only if you are honest, transparent in your work and have a thorough knowledge of your domain! If you lack these, you are vulnerable to be manipulated.

Compliance means that you do your work as instructed and without delaying it. It also means being compliant to the laws, rules, regulations and circulars. One who has got strong compliance is highly appreciated, maintains good relation with the seniors and have got high chances of rising the success ladder as compared to the one who is less compliant. 

2. Technical Skills - Technical Skills can be categorized into two sub parts:

• Commerce (Includes banking and accounting knowledge)
• IT

Since you are about to work in a bank, it is utmost necessary to have banking knowledge. It includes, various types of accounts, loans , instruments and terminologies related to banking environment. It also includes basic finance concepts and economics awareness as the banking sector directly or indirectly is influenced by changes in the government policies. It is also important to have accounting knowledge. It includes basic debit and credit rules, classification of different types of assets, revenue recognition and provisioning norms. 

Banks generally require working IT knowledge. If you are a B.Tech, it is an added advantage. But, if you are from commerce or arts background, you should at least know working knowledge of computer, tally and Finacle (It's a banking software). One should be well versed with Microsoft Office (Word, Excel and Power Point). It is not required to have O level or A level certifications for banking jobs. Keep updating yourself, learn new skills and improve yourself each day.

3. Soft Skills - This is the most neglected area. People often underestimate the power of soft skills. It is true that technical skills are important but soft skills are the most important as they add value to them. Imagine a company that has an excellent product ( technical stuff) but does not know how to market them (soft skills). Will there product be successful? No. Similarly in banking industry, soft skills play an important role to assist you in your work. Required soft skills are as follows:

• Positive attitude - It means one should be solution oriented. Life always throw new challenges each day. Do not get disheartened by them. Instead take them as an opportunity to explore your hidden potential. Adversity brings out the best in you. Always try to see the positive side of any situation and try to solve the problem.
• Politeness - It attracts positive behavior from Clients & colleagues. If you give respect, you will automatically be respected.
• Smiling Face - It shows your positive attitude. And what's the harm in smiling?
• Entertaining - It means you have ears to people's problems and is ready to solve them.
• Helping - If you help your clients, you are increasing Bank's business
• Facilitative - Work should not be delayed for formalities. If your client is running pillar to post to get his work done, you are loosing goodwill and perhaps future clients and business. 
• Service Oriented - Do not be egoist and proud. To provide service to others is your duty. Perform your duty religiously! 
• Communication Skills - Majority of the problems emanate from wrong or incomplete communications. Be clear in the instructions you get and also what you give to your subordinates. Communication is incomplete  and looses it's value if the work is not done as per your desired  instructions. So make sure you check the process to achieve the desired  end results. It is always advisable to have written communication instead of only verbal talks. 
• Time Management - Bank job is highly stressful. Long working hours, rude clients, work pressure, personal and professional life imbalance etc. are some of it outcomes. By managing your time properly you can reduce your stress to a very large extent. Prioritize your work. Plan your day one day before. Classify your work into Urgent, Important and neither urgent nor important. Perform your work according to now so classified priorities. You will realize that you are more productive by effective time management. When you complete all your schedule tasks, it gives a sense of satisfaction and stress levels automatically falls. So prioritize and enjoy!
  
  
  

I have tried to list some basic but very essential traits to give your banking career a flying start and also to keep you flying throughout. Hope it helps! If you have them, nurture them, if not, develop them.

Note: The inputs for the article has been gathered from retired officers of the bank.

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It's a Dress, not a YES!

Recently I was reading an article on Linkedin about the sexual harassment at workplace in India. It was just a collection of the figures of reported sexual harassment cases over a period of 5 years with elaboration of some highlighted cases such as Tarun Tejpal and R. k Pachauri ones. Just another usual article. But, when I scrolled down further to read the comments  (Yes, I do read them), I was shocked to see what people have actually said! Majority of them blamed the girl for it. Reason?

• The girl wants it! And how do you know about it? Of Course, her clothes!So tight, so short, so much revealing! (As if you won't find guys wearing their school fitting shirts and trousers in office), 
• Oh, she do make up to attract us! (I never knew looking good was a crime!)

There were few who came out in support , but they got trolled and that too badly (Like, ok Bro! send your wife/sister in bikni to office and then lets see if you stand by your opinion). Now who goes to office in Bikni? 

That lead me to think - are women's clothes really responsible for her being target at workplace or for that matter any where else? If that be the reason, Muslim ladies wearing burqa should never face such situation? or ladies in villages who do 'parda' or 'ghooghat' must be most secure! Is that so? Not really. Molestation and sexual harrasment are not linked to the clothes but to the mentality. 

At workplace , sexual harassment may be due to two reasons:

• EGO Satisfaction - Often limited successful people (Boss), think that they can get whatever they desire just because they are rich & successful. They want every beautiful face in their office as their arm candy and when that does not happen, they resort to other means!
  
• Power Politics - Sometimes, male ego is not able to digest that there is a female who is either equal to or more intelligent/smarter than them. Wherever ladies start getting attention for their work, their male counterparts feel a sense of insecurity. Because of this insecurity or jealous feeling, starts another level of war. And anything is valid in love and war! 
  

When we blame a girl's clothes for her getting molested, we are actually showing a 'escaping and blaming' mentality. We are just looking at the soft target to blame for our evil thoughts! When you actually blame a girl, you are punishing her for somebody else's wrong deeds! 

When we give such kind of explanations, we are actually creating a sense of fear, not only in the mind of girls, but also their parents. How will they send their daughter's to work then? Will it not percolate deep down to affect other girl's education? 

Just once, put yourself in her position of how it feels to be a victim and yet be blamed for it! How it feels when every eye in the office looks at you with suspicion! As if , they have judged you the guilty even without listening to your side of story. Just because, she chose to wear what she likes! So next time, you read a news/article/discussion about it, please don't blame the girl. She is anyways in a shock, please don't add to her pain and agony. That's the least you can do to help her! 

Mentality needs to be changed and not clothes! A girl wearing an Indian attire is equally harassed as any other girl in jeans or skirt! It has absolutely no relation to clothes she chose to wear! Punish the guilty, not the victim!  

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Development of Human Resource of a Nation

What does education mean? Is it an accumulation of information? Is it practical application of the concepts we have studied? Is it a mode to make our children employable? Is it a mode to bring out the intelligent lot from the less intelligent one? Yes? May be! But,  The most important purpose of the education should be the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT of students.  Children are the most important asset a nation has. If they are weak, physically or mentally, how can our nation grow? Human resource is the biggest strength of any organization and the same holds true for a nation. Right values need to be imbibed from the very basic level. Below are few characteristics which act as a soil (base/character) over which a healthy tree(student/adult) is developed. One whose roots are strong,  gives better fruits in return to the society. As an adult as well as a teacher it is our responsibility to develop a strong character of our students which in turn will make our society and nation a better place.

1. Vision- Contrary to their previous generations, today's youngsters lack vision. Earlier a farmer's sons always visioned high to be an officer. He didn't crib about the lack of facilities they have. They made best use of their time and resource;. and yes , they succeed. They succeeded because they had the vision that if they succeed they will be able to raise the standard of not only their family but entire village! They had a goal and all their energy was directed to achieve that goal. Failures didn't distract them! 

Have a vision my dear friends! Think how you can serve your society better! Take up one idea, Make that idea your life. Live it, breathe it, eat it, drink it! Let all the energy of this universe guide you in taking up that idea. Work hard! Work honestly! Success will come automatically.  Do not try to be a store house of information. You are not a library. Excel in whatever you do. That is the biggest service you can do to the your nation.

2. Positive thinking -  We have often heard the term, negative thinking. What does it mean? It means entry of those thoughts in your mind which makes you weak. They are the clouds which surround our mind and make us unable to see the ray of light. Every situation, good or bad, has a positive and negative side to it. A positive mind selects the positive side whereas a negative mind chooses the other one. Even a positive person do gets negative thoughts. But one who knows how to control it's mind, immediately brings it on track! Negative thoughts are distraction to demotivate you and take you away from the path of success. Negative thoughts hampers the mind abilities to see the opportunities.

Give up negativity. Have faith in yourself and faith in God! He is the powerhouse of positivism! Train your mind to generate only positive thoughts​. The moment negative thoughts surround you, forcibly divert it to look the positive aspect of the situation. Slowly, you will realize that all negative thoughts have vanished. You will feel energized and motivated! 

3. Fearlessness - Whatever you think about yourself, you become like that. If you think you are weak, you will be weak! If you think you are strong, you will be strong! Iron nerves with an intelligent brain - and the whole world will be at your feet!. 

Do not fear failures! Don't blame anyone else or situation for your failure. Its only when you accept the blame you will realize your weakness and work to improve yourself! Only and only you are responsible for your miseries. So take responsibility and get rid of your​ problems. 

4. Strong Will Power -  We are slaves of our habits. In order to succeed in life we need to overcome our bad habits and inculcate good habits. It is easy said than done. It requires conscious efforts to overcome our inertia for change. Make your mind like a computer. It should act on your command and not vice versa. You will change only if you love yourself. You will change only if you love your dreams! Don't be lethargic! Get up and get going! Work Hard for whatever you want in life! Arise , awake and stop not , until your goal is achieved!

5. Open Minded - No one is complete in itself. No matter how much learned one is, he can always learn something from others. Be open minded. Be ready to accept new ideas, new thoughts, new point of view. Don't let your ego stop you from accepting changes. Be ready to unlearn old concept and learn new theories. If you adopt this attitude, you will always grow in life. 

PS : I am highly inspired from the teachings of SwamiVivekanand and hence in my write up you will find his words.

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Anybody Listening? I need help!

India is a young country. We say that because 40% of India's population is between 13- 40 years of age. They are the drivers of India's growth. However, during my interaction with students, I realize that there are so many problems these young minds face but have nobody to listen, understand and provide a solution to it. I have tried to list some of these here and also provide some guidance to it.

• Career -  Most of the students I met had no idea about why they have joined a particular course. Be it engineering, medical, commerce or arts.  When I ask them why they have opted for a particular course, the most common answer that I got was - Parents pressure, everyone else was joining the same, some relative suggested, no idea why I am here etc. etc. etc. Basically, students were unaware of what they REALLY wanted to be in life. My suggestion would be that before opting for any course or stream, right from 10th level, be aware of yourself. What is your personality? What is your area of interest? The course that you are opting for, whether it is in resonance with it or just opposite of it? Any mismatch will lead to dissatisfaction at later levels where there may be a situation of no return. Once you determine that, do a thorough research of the various options available for that stream. Then apply according to your preference. do not be afraid to follow lesser known paths. Such process will require time and patience, but it will pay off for lifetime. Its never late to start a new beginning. Past cannot be changed. Don't regret whatever decisions you have already taken. But, for future,  determine your goal and work towards it.
  
• Low Confidence/De-motivation/Tackling Failure - Failures are part of life. Only thing required to remember about a failure is the mistake you made which leads to failure. That's it! Failure are a certificate that you tried. It's not easy! You haven taken a risk, it may or may not pay off! Just learn from your failures and don't repeat them. Failures also bring out your weakness which you may not be knowing at all or ignoring it deliberately. It is an opportunity to develop yourself. Take your failure as a stepping stone to success, something which will bring you a step closer to your dream. But only WHEN YOU LEARN FROM IT & DON'T REPEAT IT. Otherwise, you will fall further. Also, never judge yourself from your past. Forget it! Everyday is a new day. Each day brings with itself a new set of opportunities and possibilities. Just make the best use of them. The Sun is always shining no matter its cloudy or open sky.It's brightness cannot be curtailed. Be like a that, no matter how much adversities are there, take each one as a opportunity and do not stop shining.
  
• Peer Pressure/ Competition - Competition today is cut throat. It add a lot to already stressed children. How to tackle that? It is an established fact that quality has no competition! Don't be a mediocre. Excel in everything you do. Competition will vanish automatically. Also, don't compare others success with yours. Everyone has their day. Your day of success will also come. Just keep trying in right direction.
  
• Negative Thinking - This is an outcome of low confidence and comparison. Students don't believe in themselves. They undermine their talent and worth. Please BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! You will succeed, both professionally and personally. Don't judge yourself. Don't see yourself in bad light. Don't let others opinion affect you. Be mentally strong! Develop your character to accept your criticism! But, if it(excessive criticism) is killing you, don't hesitate to protest. It may even be your parents. A positive personality is one who sees positive even in negative environment. I would strongly suggest to read Swami Vivekanand books. They are tonic for anyone who is feeling low in life. 
  
• Parents Pressure -  Now this is a very difficult point. How to convince your parents about your dreams. How to tell them that you wish to do something different from the league? Well, first have patience. They won't understand in a day. That's because there is a generation gap between you and them. Next, don't keep anything to yourself. Develop courage to tell them about your choice, citing reasons and plan of action for the same. No matter how strict your parents are (especially fathers), do tell them. Your confidence would be doubled if you have their support. But, at no point disrespect them. Keep on trying until they agree, but with politeness and logic. But even if, after all our efforts they do not agree, then? Don't give up your dreams. Your work will convince them. But what if you fail? Your parents and relatives will be after you. Some angry with you, others laughing at you. Giving your examples to your cousins why they should not go your path. Don't get disheartened. Face it! But don't stop believing in your dreams. If you know that you can, then you can. Develop a deaf ear for such criticism. Learn to tackle it. When you will succeed, such criticism will automatically turn into praise.
  
• Diffusion of bubbling energy - Young blood is full of energy. However, that energy is so much diverted that it fails to give any desirable result. Give your potential a direction. Cut off any distraction that keeps you away from realizing your goals.
  
• Technology - Technology brings with itself its own set of positives and negatives. Don't devote too much time (more than 15 min a day) on social networks. If you are a budding entrepreneur,  use social network for your business rather than seeing other peoples travel and function pics. Chat only when necessary. Don't waste your time. Make best use of it. Invest it to develop yourself, either your studies, your business or personality.
  
• Relationship problems - Enter at your own risk! Relationships require a very high level of maturity and trust. Let your partner be your strength and not weakness. Broken hearts are very painful. So be careful. If you are facing such situation, get your self counselled by somebody senior. Discuss with
  your friends, Do not die a silent death. Once you have taken a decision, stick to it! Everything happens for our own good. Be positive.
  
   

A strong youth is the pillar of a strong nation. So be strong, take risk, learn from your failures, succeed and rise.Please feel free to shoot your questions. I am ready to help. Thanks!

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United we stand, Divided we fall

" All Muslims (read Indians) are Pakistanis", "Their loyalty lies with Pakistan", "They are Anti India", "They are all part of ISIS", "They are Anti Hindu", "Muslims are threat to the world"...these are some of the few notions which our mainstream media shows that people have now a days developed in their mind about Muslim community in India. But what is the truth? Is everybody out there thinking the same? 

I am a Hindu, a Brahman and vote for BJP. Does that mean I hate all the Muslims in the world? Or at least in India? Absolutely NO! My religion, my caste and my political preference do not determine my feelings for my fellow brother and sisters. I have rejected BJP earlier because of their hardliner attitude. I voted for them because I see a national leader in Narendra Modi who will work for the nation and not for self interest.

Majority of the educated Hindus feel that way but still a section of media always portray as if there is trust deficit between Hindus & Muslims in India. Few isolated incident here & there, which probably was politically motivated, and they concluded that India has become intolerant.

The problem actually lies in the fact that we chose to live in past. We make judgement based on 1947, partition of India, 1991 bomb blasts , Gujrat riots and many other riots that has rocked our country. But never have we realised that majority of us have lived peacefully and stood together even during the most turbulent times.  It was because of this faith and trust in each other that despite so many political forces to divide our country we still stand united. Tell me, how many of us have faced discrimination in school, college or in job because of our religion. Even if that had happened, in rare case, weren't people from other religion standing for us and speaking in our favour? Why then we chose to ignore the Goodwill and remember the prejudice of one person who may have been acting based on his biases. There are places in India where Hindu temples stop their aarti to give way to Azaan, where Muslims do not eat meat during the pious period of Navratri. Where else can we find such unity. But our media will never talk about it. They will never show it. They always show negative, secluded news to spread more tension and increase the gap of trust between the two major communities of India. I chose to ignore such people. There are many Muslims residing happily in my colony. We meet everyday in the park, talk, laugh, discuss various issues, wish each other on functions, just like any other person. Why then should I trust media reports that some people were denied housing because of their religion? I have strong reasons to believe that such news was manipulated if not fabricated.

I don't know who came first, Hindu or Muslim.  I don't want anyone to convert or do Ghar Wapsi. Let people follow their own religion. Respect everyone's choices. No religion is bad. No religion teaches violence. It's the humans who do so. Please don't compare ones traditions to other. Don't try to force your belief on any one else. Do not make generalisation. If any body has done something bad, let the law take it's course. Do not blame the entire community for that. The major reason which I see for un- satisfaction in our hearts is due to failure of our legal and administrative system to conduct fair trial and deliver timely justice. Majority of the problem would be solved if these two are taken care of.

Hatred breeds hatred and love conquers all. The person who died in Kanas shooting was an innocent who payed the price for somebody else's fault. His family was shattered. Yet, his wife chose not to blame entire America for such loss.

Stay united, stay together and ignore the forces who survive by dividing us! Jai Hind!

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Happy Women's Day

Come March 8th and we will celebrate the achievements of all the ladies on this planet, giving them their share of recognition and appreciation for all the hard work they have done for ages. Females enjoyed a very high respect in early Indian society. But with the passage of time, erosion of traditions took place. Ladies were exploited to keep the traditions alive no matter how relevant they were in the present scenario. Nevertheless, there were many revolutions, some even started by men, to again give the females their lost glory. To some extent, yes we have won. Many would object when I say "to some extent". I have reasons for that. Till sometime back, I use to believe that MAJORITY of girls/women nowadays are aware of their rights and that they cannot be subjugated anymore. But recently I encountered a situation where I was made to think about the reality of women empowerment. 

Sometime back a lady came to my house to ask if I need a household help (read maid). I had recently shifted to Lucknow at that time and was in need of a maid. So after initial inquiry, I agreed to hire her. She was a nice lady, very thin, educated till class 8th (better than any of her other 4 sisters who have never been to school) and had four children. The eldest daughter was almost 14 years of age while the youngest son was just 3 years old. It never struck me to ask her for her choices of the number of children she had as I knew about the Indian mentality of having a preference for a male child.  One day she came to me to ask if I know anything about contraceptive pill. I was bit taken aback. Curiously I asked her, why Lakshmi? Why now? You have a son! Please put full stop now!  She smiled with teary eyes and said " Bhabhi, har cheez humare haath main nhi hoti". I could feel her helplessness.  Such incidents were a common occurrence thereafter. I used to counsel her, guide her, help her monetarily but all in vain. One day she did not turn up for work. I tried calling her but her mobile was switched off. I saw her sister on the road and enquired about Laskmi's whereabouts. She told me, " Bhabhi, uske pati ne use bahut peeta hai. Wo kahin chali gyi hai." I asked "Khan?". She said "Pta nhi. Par bechari apne pati ko chod ke khan jaegi? Aurat hai na, pati chahe rakshas hi kyun na ho, sehna to padta hai." I was shocked! I once thought of informing the police, but by evening I came to know that she has returned. Next day when she came, I saw her face. It was all black! I asked her " Lakshmi, kya hua?". Her voice choked. Eyes were filled with tear. For five minutes, she could not utter a word. Then very slowly she said, " Bhabhi, humara pati kal daaru pee ke aya. Aur hume sab bacchon ke saamne kheechne lga. keh rha tha, chal, mujhe teri zaroorat hai. Maine use roka. To wo mujhe maarne lga. Bacchon ne roka, to bacchon ko bhi maarne lga. Ladke ka haath tod diya. Fir usne mujhe kheecha aur sab logon ke saamne meri izzat le li". She was crying all through the conversation and I was dumbstruck! For the first time I encountered a real marital rape case! She further said " ab to ate jate har aadmi hume bazaroo aurat smajhta hai. Police wale ko bhi bulaya tha to wo bhi humse budtameezi krne lga. Humari koi izzat nhi hai. Hum saara paisa kamate hain aur ye sab daaru main uda deta hai. Bhagwan ne aisi zindagi di hai ki maut se bhi battar hai. Hum kahin kaam pe jaate hain to ye sochta hai ki hum dhanda kar rhe hain. Humare kaam bhi chudwa diye." I was so much shocked, pained and angered at the same time! I asked her “ Chod kyun nhi deti aise aadmi ko?” She replied, “ Bhabhi, khan jaun chod ke. Shaadi to saath janam ka rishta hai. Pati chahe jaisa bhi kyun na ho, hota to pati hai. Saara saamaj bhi hume hi zimmedar manega. Bacchon ka kya hoga. Teen betiyan hai.” “Wasise bhi wo kaun si zimmedari le rha hai”, I asked. She just sobbed and started doing her work. Her silence was deafening, I knew she will not go against her husband. Her whole identity and existence was based on this man who has absolutely no love or respect for her. For him, she was only a ‘body’ who works for him during the day and satisfy his needs at night. I knew how obediently and dedicatedly she performed her duties when her husband had an eye operation. And this man, he treated her like his servant!

That whole day I was extremely upset. It forced me to think are we really empowered? When we talk about women empowerment, we only acknowledge professional achievements. But women will be empowered in actual sense when they get the confidence to have their say without thinking about societal pressure. We need to empower these poor ladies like Lakshmi for whom every day and every night is hell. They face verbal, physical and mental abuse! The notion of  ‘Pati Parmeshwar’ is so deeply imbibed in our culture that it is very difficult for a lady to break it. Pati is Parmeshwar only if his conduct is so. The least he can do is to respect her. That’s it!  

Marital Rape and physical abuse of ladies is a worldwide phenomenon. It satisfy a man’s ego and give them a feeling of being a ‘Real Man’! And poor ladies, they either justify it as being their duty to satisfy their husband’s  need, or for them it’s Ok to be beaten once a while, and if nothing justifies it, then they accept is as their destiny.

Lakshmi comes a very poor background. But such abuses are not limited to the poorer section of the society. Educated and well earning people also do abuse their wives. It is certainly not about education or money. It is more about power and ego! Education can solve this problem to a very large extent. Females need to be educated but more importantly males need to be educated about who is a Real Man. They need to be made sensitive towards their female counterparts. They need to know, physical, verbal and sexual abuse do not make them a man but instead a Rakshas.

As a lady also, we have very high responsibility. How are we rearing our children, especially a male child. Are we teaching them to be respectful to the ladies around them? What kind of person are we sending into the society? After all, one day they will also be husband and father too! The way they have been groomed in their childhood will determine their character for the rest of their life.

This Woman’s Day, I wish everyone (male and female) a better tomorrow. But the journey is still incomplete! We still need to do a lot more efforts to save the respect of ladies like Lakshmi. Save their dignity and save their existence. The least we can do it to Speak Up! Revolt against any such behavior! No body has got the right to touch you without your wishes! Do not suffer physical abuse just because he is the bread earner of the house! You may be weak today but your one step will make you stronger for the rest of your life. Do not pity yourself ! Fight! It is not your destiny! Your destiny is what you make!

I am still trying to awake the self respect of Lakshmi and asking her to fight for what is right. To certain extent, I have succeeded, but a lot remains to be done! My blog is to help ladies find a platform to discuss their issue, to give them strength to fight for their rights, to open up about domestic violence. It’s not a taboo! It’s a scar, a scar on your body, on your soul and on your mind!  Speak Up! Open Up! There are so many ears listening to you, so many like you and so many hands to help you! God bless you all!  

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Intolerance? Shut Up! India is tolerant!

First of all let me clarify, I am no Bhakt! I am just an ordinary citizen of India who was so much frustated with all the scams that happened in the country in the past decade that I chose Narendra Modi (BJP) as our leader. From that day onward, I have not regret my decision. I had lot of hopes from the so called "Highly Educated"  Harvard studied people, but they disappointed me to the core. Calling them legal dacoits would not be an exaggeration. They created laws so that they can more easily exploit us. But after May 2014, I see lot of changes in the governance. Yes, the corruption has reduced. The main reason is that now people know that the leadership is committed to the country and not to one family. People know that no one would be spared, not even the highest official. There is sense of fear among the officers. All the decisions taken by the govt reflect that they are for public welfare. These welfare schemes are not benefiting only a section of the society but everyone equally. Yet, there is a section of people who always oppose government's every decision. Ok, opposition is the beauty of democracy. But opposing to malign our beautiful nation is wrong! Not acceptable! They shout anti India slogans, and if we protest, that is an assault on freedom of speech! We stand by our soldiers, so we are igniting war! There was a fire within every Indian the day Pakistanis took head of our soldiers from J&K! Why can't we retaliate? Are we weak? For how long will we cry Peace, Peace when the other side do not want that? Haven't we lost our land to China & Pakistan before in the name of Peace! Our goodwill gesture was never reciprocated. We were back stabbed! If we can't protect our people and land , we are impotent! Everybody wants peace, war is beneficial to no one. But everyday we are at war. Everyday our soldiers are dying in one or other terrorist attack. Should we just take peace flag in our hand and let the things happen? The world will laugh at us! We don't attack, but we have every right to protect our self. It is only after the BJP came into power that the realty of JNU was exposed. Otherwise we would had never known that we are funding a mini Pakistan right in the heart of Delhi.

After the Ramjas college incident, there was a campaign by one of the daughters of Kargil war Martyr! My heart bleeds for that girl. I can understand her pain. She says Pakistan did not kill her father, war did! Yes, indeed, but who started that war? She said it is because of weak leadership. Really, Atal Bihari Vajpayee tried all he could do to make peace with our neighbors. Result, Kandhar, Kargil! So now we should say Ok you keep killing our people, take away Kashmir and slowly entire India but all we want is Peace! Rubbish! Even Lord Ram gave many opportunities to Ravan but Ravan was hell bent to fight. So Ram should have said Ok brother, you keep my wife, all I want is Peace! No, there is always a limit to tolerance. France and Germany have buried their differences and enmity then why can't India and Pakistan? That's because there the efforts were from both the sides. In our case India is making efforts and we are getting Uri and Pathankot in return. How can peace be established in such a case?

In Ramjas college they called Umar Khalid to give lectures. Is he is noble laureate? He got into limelight for chanting anti India slogans. Thanks to our media for that. Now to allow such people to speak is freedom of expression but when some other people tried to stop him, we are becoming intolerant. Yes, violence is wrong in all forms. But the violence have been from both the sides. They say your nationalism is not bigger than our democracy, I couldn't agree more. But that same constitution says to exercise your rights with responsibility. If you are welcoming such people instead of condemning them, you are actually hurting the feelings of millions of Indians. India is the only nation where you can speak any wrong about our nation and yet claim that Indians are intolerant. We have been tolerant for ages, but do not take our tolerance for granted! Enough is enough! If you have right to speak, so do others.  They Say ABVP are goons. I again agree with them. They say BJP tries to force their ideology. May be! But I strongly believe that be it BJP or any other party, no body can dictate us! if they try to, they will be shown the doors! BJP is not spreading hatred or hate politics, its only the media which is doing so. They manipulate, twist the facts to spread lies.

Every Indian has a right to express themselves. If you have right to criticize others, be ready to face your own criticism! Do not cry intolerance in such a case. India is extremely tolerant and Bharat jaisi jagah nahi! Jai Hind!

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Love thyself !

I am a woman..a strong independent woman..earning well..having respect and reputation in family and society. But there is something I still desire..desire to be like my male counterparts. Desire to be compared and applauded on all the criteria on which males are judged. My happiness is dependent on others judgement about me. But why? If I had to be like a male , why would have God made me a woman? That's because he want us to be different. A man has their own share of strength and weakness and so do women. Why can't we celebrate this diversity? If I have chosen to sacrifice my career for my family, that sacrifice is my strength. If I chose not to reply back to my elders, no matter how wrong they are, that respect is my strength. This is no Man's job! It requires strength, lot of strength to be tolerant to all those things that you dislike and accepting them too!. Just because I am physically less strong doesn't mean I am not strong mentally. The strength of my character is stronger than the strongest material available on earth. So all you beautiful ladies out there, love yourself, love yourself for what you are! There's nobody out there like you. no matter you are black or white, skinny or curvy, working or house wife, nerd or fashionista. You may choose your career over family or vice versa, but let that choice be yours and not of anybody else! You are what you are! Go ahead and make your choices. Don't let anybody stop you, don't let anybody dictate you about your happiness. Nobody knows better than you about what really makes you happy. It's OK if you do not cook one day, Its OK if you have made a slip on your responsibility one day, its OK if you are not a CEO of any company, Its OK if you cannot make round chapatis, Its OK to be a girl even when you have crossed that age. Its OK! Relax! Celebrate yourself! Sometimes its OK to be selfish.Its not a crime to think about yourself. Get out of that guilt feeling. You have right to be happy. Its a wonderful life. Judge yourself and the criteria should be your happiness quotient and not success quotient. Stay relevant and stay happy! Anybody who tries to give you too much Gyan ( read unwanted advise), show them their place. Don't take too much criticism and loose your moral. Give it back, left, right & center! Its not wrong to protect your self respect. Respect everyone only to the extent it does not break your spine! Take your Stand, Speak up!  I am a woman..a strong independent woman..and I love myself for whatever I am!

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