Effective Communication

Humans are the most advanced animal species created by God. What differentiate us from other species is that we have the tool of language to communicate with each other. However, we do not make best use of the communication power to excel in every aspect of life.   Is communication required only for professional success? No! By being a good communicator we make not only our professional life but personal life also less complicated, happy and satisfied. The main reason is that an effective communicator is able to effectively and satisfactorily convey his thoughts and feelings to the other party and get the desired results. Imagine the kind of stress one has to tackle when his/her work is getting delayed because the other party is not understanding the instructions properly thereby making mistakes and therefore requires repetition of the message. It delays the work, increases stress and strain the relationship! Thus, it is very essential to master this very important skill. But how? Let's find out.

First let us Define Communication (latin word: communicare) - communication is the act of conveying intended meaning from one entity or groups to other through the use of mutually understood language and signs. In simple language it means to convey message, idea or feelings from one individual to another, through a common medium, so that it is understood by the other party and the purpose/ intent is achieved.

Parties to communication -  There are two parties : Sender & Receiver

"Sender" is the person who starts the conversation. It may be an idea, thought, message, feeling or instruction. "Receiver" is the person to whom the message is intended or directed to.  Let us take the example of a class. The sender is the teacher "A" who is communicating with the students to impart a concept whereas the students " X,Y & Z" are the receiver who are listening to their teacher to gain knowledge.

Is it that whatever teacher teaches in the class is understood by all? More often than not , the answer is negative. That means somewhere, some link is broken because of which the teacher and the student do not lie on the same page as far as the understanding of the concept is involved.  A failed communication is a result of fault of either one or both the parties to communication. So let us now discuss what are the factors that hinder proper communication? They are also known as "Barriers to Communication". For our convenience, I have bifurcated them into Sender's issue, Receiver's issue and Common issues. They are:

Sender's Issue -

1. Unclear idea/thoughts - If the sender is himself not clear of the idea or thoughts that he wants to deliver, it is impossible for him to convey them appropriately to the audience. Thus, it is very essential that before communicating, one should have clarity in his mind of what he wants to tell.
2. Choice of wrong medium and language - The medium should be the one which is most convenient to all. If it is possible to convey the message face to face, it should be done, instead of texting in any form. It may be meeting in person or through video conferencing. If not, that medium should be chosen which is convenient to both like voice call, email, text message or watsapp. Similarly, the language should be as simple as possible. Always remember, the whole purpose of the language is that the underlying message should be successfully conveyed so that it is completely understood and thereafter satisfactorily worked upon by the other party. It is not to impress others. Don't use jargon. Use that language which is easily understandable by the receiver. 
3. Ego or wrong attitude - One should have respect for their audience. The felling of "I know it all" doesn't help. Have an empathetic attitude towards the listeners. If you have ego or attitude problem, that will certainly reflect in your words and action. The receiver will catch those signals and will develop resistance to your thoughts. Thus, leading to complete failure of communication. Not only this, such behavior may entice the receiver to act in complete disagreement to your instructions, thereby spoiling the work and causing troubles. In extreme cases it may lead to irreparable damage to relations. It is said that " you may win an argument, but you loose the opponent" It means that though you have been able to convince the other person with your explanations but in doing that you have pulled the relation to a point of no return. Always speak in a fashion where there is a win -win situation for both the parties.
4. Lack of interest in the topic of discussion - If the sender is uninterested in the topic of discussion, he will put only half efforts to explain it to others.  
5. Inappropriate choice of time, place or situation -  Choice of time and place is very important. If you try to put your point at a time when the receiver is in hurry, or there is some function at home, it is highly probable that your words would go unnoticed. Similarly, if somebody is grieving for some personal loss, and you try to tell that person about some fantastic business idea, it will go in vain! More soever, you are at risk of being called stupid for such behavior. Somethings are discussed in public and some in private. Choice of place should be such that in all situation the reputation of the receiver is not compromised. 
6. Lack of co-ordination between words , tone and body language - The words we speak should resonate with the tone, facial expression and body language. The receiver judge 40% of the conversation via vocal tone, pitch etc, 50% from facial expression and only 10% from words! So if there is any discrepancy in co-ordination of all the three, the receiver, in all probability, is going to ignore your words and will determine your intention from other means.
7. Poor listening skills - We all have heard this phrase that God has given us two ears and one mouth so that we speak less and listen more. Well, that is absolutely true! Only if you listen to the other party with full concentration, you will understand better the strengths, weakness and requirements of the you other party. Accordingly, you can customize your message to suit individual need. It saves a lot of time and effort! 
8.  Assumptions/Emotions -  Do not look at a person from any frame. That means, you should not judge a person or situation based either on someone else opinion or cause you think that other person will not understand based on no logical reasoning. The moment we assume, we develop resistance to approach the other party will full faith and honesty. You are therefore unable to  communicate your point effectively and hence the consequences follow.
9. Not selecting the right audience for communication -  It is very important to know the profile of the audience whom you are addressing to. Accordingly, the matter, medium and language is decided. Also, "How Much" is to be told is determined by the type of audience.  
10. Over expressive or less expressive way of communicating the idea - In either case the attention is shifted from the content to the expressions. They ( expressions) should be just right to convey your message, neither too much nor too less.
11. Unable to summarize the discussion and hence leaving loose ends as to what needs to be done - Summarizing helps in conveying what actually the whole conversation was about. It helps the receiver to conclude, in a short and effective manner, as to what all he needs to do , leaving no scope for confusion and ambiguity.
12.  Not getting feedback -  Once you have finished your side of conversation, ask the other party to re-phrase it. It confirms if both the parties have similar understanding or if there is some misunderstanding.  

Receiver's Issues

1. Inattentive - If the receiver is not paying attention to the sender's talk, it is a one sided conversation, and thus can never be succesful.
2. Uninterested in the topic -  If the topic is not of the interest of the receiver, he will not put efforts to listen and understand it. 
3. Mind is preoccupied with other thoughts -  When we speak, we can speak comfortably at 100-150 words per minute. However, our brain process at 450-500 words per minute. That means for some time, even during conversation, the listener's mind is processing some other thoughts. These thoughts divert the attention from the conversation and even if you are hearing but not listening. Sometimes we say, "sorry can you please repeat again? I was thinking about something else!" . It happens because of lack of concentration. 
4.  Assumptions/Emotions -  The listener should not assume as to what the speaker is about to tell. Pre judgments blocks the mind so that it does not become receptive to new ideas , thoughts or instructions. 
5. Poor Listening skills -  The receiver should also have good listening skill, especially patience to listen to somebody else and not force his thoughts on others.
6. Ego or wrong attitude -  The law is same for both sender and receiver. If the receiver thinks that he knows everything and whatever the sender would tell will be of no use to him, he will certainly miss some points which may be new and important to him.

Common Issues

1. External distractions - Like if you are conversing and different people are coming just to wish you a hello! Breakage of talks at regular or irregular intervals, sucks the life out of the conversation.
2. Noise - It means too much sound at the place of communication so that it becomes impossible to communicate.

After having understood the factors which leads to communication failure, let us now look as to what steps need to be taken to overcome them.

How to improve communication skills

• Improve listening skills
• Be clear in your thoughts and ideas. 
• Think before you speak
• Improve your knowledge base
• Increase your vocabulary
• Develop empathy
• Do not judge people
• Work on body posture and appearence
• Work on voice modulation
• Develop and control expressions
• Do not assume 
• Have a control on your emotions (Love, anger, excitement, sadness etc)
• Develop concentration power
• If possible, make a note of the important points of discussion
• Don't interrupt when other person is speaking
• Keep Smiling
• Ask open ended questions instead of the ones the answer of which is either Yes or No
• Keep asking relevant and intelligent questions which shows that you are genuinely listening
• Be assertive

How does communication skills help

• Develops confidence
• Increases respect in the society
• Decreases stress
• Improve relations
• Lot of unwanted problems are avoided
• Saves lot of time and energy
• Gives a sense of satisfaction

Despite all, it is impossible to have 100% successful communication at all times! However, efforts should be to be as close to perfection as possible. So go ahead and develop yourself.