It's a Dress, not a YES!

Recently I was reading an article on Linkedin about the sexual harassment at workplace in India. It was just a collection of the figures of reported sexual harassment cases over a period of 5 years with elaboration of some highlighted cases such as Tarun Tejpal and R. k Pachauri ones. Just another usual article. But, when I scrolled down further to read the comments  (Yes, I do read them), I was shocked to see what people have actually said! Majority of them blamed the girl for it. Reason?

• The girl wants it! And how do you know about it? Of Course, her clothes!So tight, so short, so much revealing! (As if you won't find guys wearing their school fitting shirts and trousers in office), 
• Oh, she do make up to attract us! (I never knew looking good was a crime!)

There were few who came out in support , but they got trolled and that too badly (Like, ok Bro! send your wife/sister in bikni to office and then lets see if you stand by your opinion). Now who goes to office in Bikni? 

That lead me to think - are women's clothes really responsible for her being target at workplace or for that matter any where else? If that be the reason, Muslim ladies wearing burqa should never face such situation? or ladies in villages who do 'parda' or 'ghooghat' must be most secure! Is that so? Not really. Molestation and sexual harrasment are not linked to the clothes but to the mentality. 

At workplace , sexual harassment may be due to two reasons:

• EGO Satisfaction - Often limited successful people (Boss), think that they can get whatever they desire just because they are rich & successful. They want every beautiful face in their office as their arm candy and when that does not happen, they resort to other means!
  
• Power Politics - Sometimes, male ego is not able to digest that there is a female who is either equal to or more intelligent/smarter than them. Wherever ladies start getting attention for their work, their male counterparts feel a sense of insecurity. Because of this insecurity or jealous feeling, starts another level of war. And anything is valid in love and war! 
  

When we blame a girl's clothes for her getting molested, we are actually showing a 'escaping and blaming' mentality. We are just looking at the soft target to blame for our evil thoughts! When you actually blame a girl, you are punishing her for somebody else's wrong deeds! 

When we give such kind of explanations, we are actually creating a sense of fear, not only in the mind of girls, but also their parents. How will they send their daughter's to work then? Will it not percolate deep down to affect other girl's education? 

Just once, put yourself in her position of how it feels to be a victim and yet be blamed for it! How it feels when every eye in the office looks at you with suspicion! As if , they have judged you the guilty even without listening to your side of story. Just because, she chose to wear what she likes! So next time, you read a news/article/discussion about it, please don't blame the girl. She is anyways in a shock, please don't add to her pain and agony. That's the least you can do to help her! 

Mentality needs to be changed and not clothes! A girl wearing an Indian attire is equally harassed as any other girl in jeans or skirt! It has absolutely no relation to clothes she chose to wear! Punish the guilty, not the victim!  

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Development of Human Resource of a Nation

What does education mean? Is it an accumulation of information? Is it practical application of the concepts we have studied? Is it a mode to make our children employable? Is it a mode to bring out the intelligent lot from the less intelligent one? Yes? May be! But,  The most important purpose of the education should be the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT of students.  Children are the most important asset a nation has. If they are weak, physically or mentally, how can our nation grow? Human resource is the biggest strength of any organization and the same holds true for a nation. Right values need to be imbibed from the very basic level. Below are few characteristics which act as a soil (base/character) over which a healthy tree(student/adult) is developed. One whose roots are strong,  gives better fruits in return to the society. As an adult as well as a teacher it is our responsibility to develop a strong character of our students which in turn will make our society and nation a better place.

1. Vision- Contrary to their previous generations, today's youngsters lack vision. Earlier a farmer's sons always visioned high to be an officer. He didn't crib about the lack of facilities they have. They made best use of their time and resource;. and yes , they succeed. They succeeded because they had the vision that if they succeed they will be able to raise the standard of not only their family but entire village! They had a goal and all their energy was directed to achieve that goal. Failures didn't distract them! 

Have a vision my dear friends! Think how you can serve your society better! Take up one idea, Make that idea your life. Live it, breathe it, eat it, drink it! Let all the energy of this universe guide you in taking up that idea. Work hard! Work honestly! Success will come automatically.  Do not try to be a store house of information. You are not a library. Excel in whatever you do. That is the biggest service you can do to the your nation.

2. Positive thinking -  We have often heard the term, negative thinking. What does it mean? It means entry of those thoughts in your mind which makes you weak. They are the clouds which surround our mind and make us unable to see the ray of light. Every situation, good or bad, has a positive and negative side to it. A positive mind selects the positive side whereas a negative mind chooses the other one. Even a positive person do gets negative thoughts. But one who knows how to control it's mind, immediately brings it on track! Negative thoughts are distraction to demotivate you and take you away from the path of success. Negative thoughts hampers the mind abilities to see the opportunities.

Give up negativity. Have faith in yourself and faith in God! He is the powerhouse of positivism! Train your mind to generate only positive thoughts​. The moment negative thoughts surround you, forcibly divert it to look the positive aspect of the situation. Slowly, you will realize that all negative thoughts have vanished. You will feel energized and motivated! 

3. Fearlessness - Whatever you think about yourself, you become like that. If you think you are weak, you will be weak! If you think you are strong, you will be strong! Iron nerves with an intelligent brain - and the whole world will be at your feet!. 

Do not fear failures! Don't blame anyone else or situation for your failure. Its only when you accept the blame you will realize your weakness and work to improve yourself! Only and only you are responsible for your miseries. So take responsibility and get rid of your​ problems. 

4. Strong Will Power -  We are slaves of our habits. In order to succeed in life we need to overcome our bad habits and inculcate good habits. It is easy said than done. It requires conscious efforts to overcome our inertia for change. Make your mind like a computer. It should act on your command and not vice versa. You will change only if you love yourself. You will change only if you love your dreams! Don't be lethargic! Get up and get going! Work Hard for whatever you want in life! Arise , awake and stop not , until your goal is achieved!

5. Open Minded - No one is complete in itself. No matter how much learned one is, he can always learn something from others. Be open minded. Be ready to accept new ideas, new thoughts, new point of view. Don't let your ego stop you from accepting changes. Be ready to unlearn old concept and learn new theories. If you adopt this attitude, you will always grow in life. 

PS : I am highly inspired from the teachings of SwamiVivekanand and hence in my write up you will find his words.

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Anybody Listening? I need help!

India is a young country. We say that because 40% of India's population is between 13- 40 years of age. They are the drivers of India's growth. However, during my interaction with students, I realize that there are so many problems these young minds face but have nobody to listen, understand and provide a solution to it. I have tried to list some of these here and also provide some guidance to it.

• Career -  Most of the students I met had no idea about why they have joined a particular course. Be it engineering, medical, commerce or arts.  When I ask them why they have opted for a particular course, the most common answer that I got was - Parents pressure, everyone else was joining the same, some relative suggested, no idea why I am here etc. etc. etc. Basically, students were unaware of what they REALLY wanted to be in life. My suggestion would be that before opting for any course or stream, right from 10th level, be aware of yourself. What is your personality? What is your area of interest? The course that you are opting for, whether it is in resonance with it or just opposite of it? Any mismatch will lead to dissatisfaction at later levels where there may be a situation of no return. Once you determine that, do a thorough research of the various options available for that stream. Then apply according to your preference. do not be afraid to follow lesser known paths. Such process will require time and patience, but it will pay off for lifetime. Its never late to start a new beginning. Past cannot be changed. Don't regret whatever decisions you have already taken. But, for future,  determine your goal and work towards it.
  
• Low Confidence/De-motivation/Tackling Failure - Failures are part of life. Only thing required to remember about a failure is the mistake you made which leads to failure. That's it! Failure are a certificate that you tried. It's not easy! You haven taken a risk, it may or may not pay off! Just learn from your failures and don't repeat them. Failures also bring out your weakness which you may not be knowing at all or ignoring it deliberately. It is an opportunity to develop yourself. Take your failure as a stepping stone to success, something which will bring you a step closer to your dream. But only WHEN YOU LEARN FROM IT & DON'T REPEAT IT. Otherwise, you will fall further. Also, never judge yourself from your past. Forget it! Everyday is a new day. Each day brings with itself a new set of opportunities and possibilities. Just make the best use of them. The Sun is always shining no matter its cloudy or open sky.It's brightness cannot be curtailed. Be like a that, no matter how much adversities are there, take each one as a opportunity and do not stop shining.
  
• Peer Pressure/ Competition - Competition today is cut throat. It add a lot to already stressed children. How to tackle that? It is an established fact that quality has no competition! Don't be a mediocre. Excel in everything you do. Competition will vanish automatically. Also, don't compare others success with yours. Everyone has their day. Your day of success will also come. Just keep trying in right direction.
  
• Negative Thinking - This is an outcome of low confidence and comparison. Students don't believe in themselves. They undermine their talent and worth. Please BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! You will succeed, both professionally and personally. Don't judge yourself. Don't see yourself in bad light. Don't let others opinion affect you. Be mentally strong! Develop your character to accept your criticism! But, if it(excessive criticism) is killing you, don't hesitate to protest. It may even be your parents. A positive personality is one who sees positive even in negative environment. I would strongly suggest to read Swami Vivekanand books. They are tonic for anyone who is feeling low in life. 
  
• Parents Pressure -  Now this is a very difficult point. How to convince your parents about your dreams. How to tell them that you wish to do something different from the league? Well, first have patience. They won't understand in a day. That's because there is a generation gap between you and them. Next, don't keep anything to yourself. Develop courage to tell them about your choice, citing reasons and plan of action for the same. No matter how strict your parents are (especially fathers), do tell them. Your confidence would be doubled if you have their support. But, at no point disrespect them. Keep on trying until they agree, but with politeness and logic. But even if, after all our efforts they do not agree, then? Don't give up your dreams. Your work will convince them. But what if you fail? Your parents and relatives will be after you. Some angry with you, others laughing at you. Giving your examples to your cousins why they should not go your path. Don't get disheartened. Face it! But don't stop believing in your dreams. If you know that you can, then you can. Develop a deaf ear for such criticism. Learn to tackle it. When you will succeed, such criticism will automatically turn into praise.
  
• Diffusion of bubbling energy - Young blood is full of energy. However, that energy is so much diverted that it fails to give any desirable result. Give your potential a direction. Cut off any distraction that keeps you away from realizing your goals.
  
• Technology - Technology brings with itself its own set of positives and negatives. Don't devote too much time (more than 15 min a day) on social networks. If you are a budding entrepreneur,  use social network for your business rather than seeing other peoples travel and function pics. Chat only when necessary. Don't waste your time. Make best use of it. Invest it to develop yourself, either your studies, your business or personality.
  
• Relationship problems - Enter at your own risk! Relationships require a very high level of maturity and trust. Let your partner be your strength and not weakness. Broken hearts are very painful. So be careful. If you are facing such situation, get your self counselled by somebody senior. Discuss with
  your friends, Do not die a silent death. Once you have taken a decision, stick to it! Everything happens for our own good. Be positive.
  
   

A strong youth is the pillar of a strong nation. So be strong, take risk, learn from your failures, succeed and rise.Please feel free to shoot your questions. I am ready to help. Thanks!

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United we stand, Divided we fall

" All Muslims (read Indians) are Pakistanis", "Their loyalty lies with Pakistan", "They are Anti India", "They are all part of ISIS", "They are Anti Hindu", "Muslims are threat to the world"...these are some of the few notions which our mainstream media shows that people have now a days developed in their mind about Muslim community in India. But what is the truth? Is everybody out there thinking the same? 

I am a Hindu, a Brahman and vote for BJP. Does that mean I hate all the Muslims in the world? Or at least in India? Absolutely NO! My religion, my caste and my political preference do not determine my feelings for my fellow brother and sisters. I have rejected BJP earlier because of their hardliner attitude. I voted for them because I see a national leader in Narendra Modi who will work for the nation and not for self interest.

Majority of the educated Hindus feel that way but still a section of media always portray as if there is trust deficit between Hindus & Muslims in India. Few isolated incident here & there, which probably was politically motivated, and they concluded that India has become intolerant.

The problem actually lies in the fact that we chose to live in past. We make judgement based on 1947, partition of India, 1991 bomb blasts , Gujrat riots and many other riots that has rocked our country. But never have we realised that majority of us have lived peacefully and stood together even during the most turbulent times.  It was because of this faith and trust in each other that despite so many political forces to divide our country we still stand united. Tell me, how many of us have faced discrimination in school, college or in job because of our religion. Even if that had happened, in rare case, weren't people from other religion standing for us and speaking in our favour? Why then we chose to ignore the Goodwill and remember the prejudice of one person who may have been acting based on his biases. There are places in India where Hindu temples stop their aarti to give way to Azaan, where Muslims do not eat meat during the pious period of Navratri. Where else can we find such unity. But our media will never talk about it. They will never show it. They always show negative, secluded news to spread more tension and increase the gap of trust between the two major communities of India. I chose to ignore such people. There are many Muslims residing happily in my colony. We meet everyday in the park, talk, laugh, discuss various issues, wish each other on functions, just like any other person. Why then should I trust media reports that some people were denied housing because of their religion? I have strong reasons to believe that such news was manipulated if not fabricated.

I don't know who came first, Hindu or Muslim.  I don't want anyone to convert or do Ghar Wapsi. Let people follow their own religion. Respect everyone's choices. No religion is bad. No religion teaches violence. It's the humans who do so. Please don't compare ones traditions to other. Don't try to force your belief on any one else. Do not make generalisation. If any body has done something bad, let the law take it's course. Do not blame the entire community for that. The major reason which I see for un- satisfaction in our hearts is due to failure of our legal and administrative system to conduct fair trial and deliver timely justice. Majority of the problem would be solved if these two are taken care of.

Hatred breeds hatred and love conquers all. The person who died in Kanas shooting was an innocent who payed the price for somebody else's fault. His family was shattered. Yet, his wife chose not to blame entire America for such loss.

Stay united, stay together and ignore the forces who survive by dividing us! Jai Hind!

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Happy Women's Day

Come March 8th and we will celebrate the achievements of all the ladies on this planet, giving them their share of recognition and appreciation for all the hard work they have done for ages. Females enjoyed a very high respect in early Indian society. But with the passage of time, erosion of traditions took place. Ladies were exploited to keep the traditions alive no matter how relevant they were in the present scenario. Nevertheless, there were many revolutions, some even started by men, to again give the females their lost glory. To some extent, yes we have won. Many would object when I say "to some extent". I have reasons for that. Till sometime back, I use to believe that MAJORITY of girls/women nowadays are aware of their rights and that they cannot be subjugated anymore. But recently I encountered a situation where I was made to think about the reality of women empowerment. 

Sometime back a lady came to my house to ask if I need a household help (read maid). I had recently shifted to Lucknow at that time and was in need of a maid. So after initial inquiry, I agreed to hire her. She was a nice lady, very thin, educated till class 8th (better than any of her other 4 sisters who have never been to school) and had four children. The eldest daughter was almost 14 years of age while the youngest son was just 3 years old. It never struck me to ask her for her choices of the number of children she had as I knew about the Indian mentality of having a preference for a male child.  One day she came to me to ask if I know anything about contraceptive pill. I was bit taken aback. Curiously I asked her, why Lakshmi? Why now? You have a son! Please put full stop now!  She smiled with teary eyes and said " Bhabhi, har cheez humare haath main nhi hoti". I could feel her helplessness.  Such incidents were a common occurrence thereafter. I used to counsel her, guide her, help her monetarily but all in vain. One day she did not turn up for work. I tried calling her but her mobile was switched off. I saw her sister on the road and enquired about Laskmi's whereabouts. She told me, " Bhabhi, uske pati ne use bahut peeta hai. Wo kahin chali gyi hai." I asked "Khan?". She said "Pta nhi. Par bechari apne pati ko chod ke khan jaegi? Aurat hai na, pati chahe rakshas hi kyun na ho, sehna to padta hai." I was shocked! I once thought of informing the police, but by evening I came to know that she has returned. Next day when she came, I saw her face. It was all black! I asked her " Lakshmi, kya hua?". Her voice choked. Eyes were filled with tear. For five minutes, she could not utter a word. Then very slowly she said, " Bhabhi, humara pati kal daaru pee ke aya. Aur hume sab bacchon ke saamne kheechne lga. keh rha tha, chal, mujhe teri zaroorat hai. Maine use roka. To wo mujhe maarne lga. Bacchon ne roka, to bacchon ko bhi maarne lga. Ladke ka haath tod diya. Fir usne mujhe kheecha aur sab logon ke saamne meri izzat le li". She was crying all through the conversation and I was dumbstruck! For the first time I encountered a real marital rape case! She further said " ab to ate jate har aadmi hume bazaroo aurat smajhta hai. Police wale ko bhi bulaya tha to wo bhi humse budtameezi krne lga. Humari koi izzat nhi hai. Hum saara paisa kamate hain aur ye sab daaru main uda deta hai. Bhagwan ne aisi zindagi di hai ki maut se bhi battar hai. Hum kahin kaam pe jaate hain to ye sochta hai ki hum dhanda kar rhe hain. Humare kaam bhi chudwa diye." I was so much shocked, pained and angered at the same time! I asked her “ Chod kyun nhi deti aise aadmi ko?” She replied, “ Bhabhi, khan jaun chod ke. Shaadi to saath janam ka rishta hai. Pati chahe jaisa bhi kyun na ho, hota to pati hai. Saara saamaj bhi hume hi zimmedar manega. Bacchon ka kya hoga. Teen betiyan hai.” “Wasise bhi wo kaun si zimmedari le rha hai”, I asked. She just sobbed and started doing her work. Her silence was deafening, I knew she will not go against her husband. Her whole identity and existence was based on this man who has absolutely no love or respect for her. For him, she was only a ‘body’ who works for him during the day and satisfy his needs at night. I knew how obediently and dedicatedly she performed her duties when her husband had an eye operation. And this man, he treated her like his servant!

That whole day I was extremely upset. It forced me to think are we really empowered? When we talk about women empowerment, we only acknowledge professional achievements. But women will be empowered in actual sense when they get the confidence to have their say without thinking about societal pressure. We need to empower these poor ladies like Lakshmi for whom every day and every night is hell. They face verbal, physical and mental abuse! The notion of  ‘Pati Parmeshwar’ is so deeply imbibed in our culture that it is very difficult for a lady to break it. Pati is Parmeshwar only if his conduct is so. The least he can do is to respect her. That’s it!  

Marital Rape and physical abuse of ladies is a worldwide phenomenon. It satisfy a man’s ego and give them a feeling of being a ‘Real Man’! And poor ladies, they either justify it as being their duty to satisfy their husband’s  need, or for them it’s Ok to be beaten once a while, and if nothing justifies it, then they accept is as their destiny.

Lakshmi comes a very poor background. But such abuses are not limited to the poorer section of the society. Educated and well earning people also do abuse their wives. It is certainly not about education or money. It is more about power and ego! Education can solve this problem to a very large extent. Females need to be educated but more importantly males need to be educated about who is a Real Man. They need to be made sensitive towards their female counterparts. They need to know, physical, verbal and sexual abuse do not make them a man but instead a Rakshas.

As a lady also, we have very high responsibility. How are we rearing our children, especially a male child. Are we teaching them to be respectful to the ladies around them? What kind of person are we sending into the society? After all, one day they will also be husband and father too! The way they have been groomed in their childhood will determine their character for the rest of their life.

This Woman’s Day, I wish everyone (male and female) a better tomorrow. But the journey is still incomplete! We still need to do a lot more efforts to save the respect of ladies like Lakshmi. Save their dignity and save their existence. The least we can do it to Speak Up! Revolt against any such behavior! No body has got the right to touch you without your wishes! Do not suffer physical abuse just because he is the bread earner of the house! You may be weak today but your one step will make you stronger for the rest of your life. Do not pity yourself ! Fight! It is not your destiny! Your destiny is what you make!

I am still trying to awake the self respect of Lakshmi and asking her to fight for what is right. To certain extent, I have succeeded, but a lot remains to be done! My blog is to help ladies find a platform to discuss their issue, to give them strength to fight for their rights, to open up about domestic violence. It’s not a taboo! It’s a scar, a scar on your body, on your soul and on your mind!  Speak Up! Open Up! There are so many ears listening to you, so many like you and so many hands to help you! God bless you all!  

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Intolerance? Shut Up! India is tolerant!

First of all let me clarify, I am no Bhakt! I am just an ordinary citizen of India who was so much frustated with all the scams that happened in the country in the past decade that I chose Narendra Modi (BJP) as our leader. From that day onward, I have not regret my decision. I had lot of hopes from the so called "Highly Educated"  Harvard studied people, but they disappointed me to the core. Calling them legal dacoits would not be an exaggeration. They created laws so that they can more easily exploit us. But after May 2014, I see lot of changes in the governance. Yes, the corruption has reduced. The main reason is that now people know that the leadership is committed to the country and not to one family. People know that no one would be spared, not even the highest official. There is sense of fear among the officers. All the decisions taken by the govt reflect that they are for public welfare. These welfare schemes are not benefiting only a section of the society but everyone equally. Yet, there is a section of people who always oppose government's every decision. Ok, opposition is the beauty of democracy. But opposing to malign our beautiful nation is wrong! Not acceptable! They shout anti India slogans, and if we protest, that is an assault on freedom of speech! We stand by our soldiers, so we are igniting war! There was a fire within every Indian the day Pakistanis took head of our soldiers from J&K! Why can't we retaliate? Are we weak? For how long will we cry Peace, Peace when the other side do not want that? Haven't we lost our land to China & Pakistan before in the name of Peace! Our goodwill gesture was never reciprocated. We were back stabbed! If we can't protect our people and land , we are impotent! Everybody wants peace, war is beneficial to no one. But everyday we are at war. Everyday our soldiers are dying in one or other terrorist attack. Should we just take peace flag in our hand and let the things happen? The world will laugh at us! We don't attack, but we have every right to protect our self. It is only after the BJP came into power that the realty of JNU was exposed. Otherwise we would had never known that we are funding a mini Pakistan right in the heart of Delhi.

After the Ramjas college incident, there was a campaign by one of the daughters of Kargil war Martyr! My heart bleeds for that girl. I can understand her pain. She says Pakistan did not kill her father, war did! Yes, indeed, but who started that war? She said it is because of weak leadership. Really, Atal Bihari Vajpayee tried all he could do to make peace with our neighbors. Result, Kandhar, Kargil! So now we should say Ok you keep killing our people, take away Kashmir and slowly entire India but all we want is Peace! Rubbish! Even Lord Ram gave many opportunities to Ravan but Ravan was hell bent to fight. So Ram should have said Ok brother, you keep my wife, all I want is Peace! No, there is always a limit to tolerance. France and Germany have buried their differences and enmity then why can't India and Pakistan? That's because there the efforts were from both the sides. In our case India is making efforts and we are getting Uri and Pathankot in return. How can peace be established in such a case?

In Ramjas college they called Umar Khalid to give lectures. Is he is noble laureate? He got into limelight for chanting anti India slogans. Thanks to our media for that. Now to allow such people to speak is freedom of expression but when some other people tried to stop him, we are becoming intolerant. Yes, violence is wrong in all forms. But the violence have been from both the sides. They say your nationalism is not bigger than our democracy, I couldn't agree more. But that same constitution says to exercise your rights with responsibility. If you are welcoming such people instead of condemning them, you are actually hurting the feelings of millions of Indians. India is the only nation where you can speak any wrong about our nation and yet claim that Indians are intolerant. We have been tolerant for ages, but do not take our tolerance for granted! Enough is enough! If you have right to speak, so do others.  They Say ABVP are goons. I again agree with them. They say BJP tries to force their ideology. May be! But I strongly believe that be it BJP or any other party, no body can dictate us! if they try to, they will be shown the doors! BJP is not spreading hatred or hate politics, its only the media which is doing so. They manipulate, twist the facts to spread lies.

Every Indian has a right to express themselves. If you have right to criticize others, be ready to face your own criticism! Do not cry intolerance in such a case. India is extremely tolerant and Bharat jaisi jagah nahi! Jai Hind!

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Love thyself !

I am a woman..a strong independent woman..earning well..having respect and reputation in family and society. But there is something I still desire..desire to be like my male counterparts. Desire to be compared and applauded on all the criteria on which males are judged. My happiness is dependent on others judgement about me. But why? If I had to be like a male , why would have God made me a woman? That's because he want us to be different. A man has their own share of strength and weakness and so do women. Why can't we celebrate this diversity? If I have chosen to sacrifice my career for my family, that sacrifice is my strength. If I chose not to reply back to my elders, no matter how wrong they are, that respect is my strength. This is no Man's job! It requires strength, lot of strength to be tolerant to all those things that you dislike and accepting them too!. Just because I am physically less strong doesn't mean I am not strong mentally. The strength of my character is stronger than the strongest material available on earth. So all you beautiful ladies out there, love yourself, love yourself for what you are! There's nobody out there like you. no matter you are black or white, skinny or curvy, working or house wife, nerd or fashionista. You may choose your career over family or vice versa, but let that choice be yours and not of anybody else! You are what you are! Go ahead and make your choices. Don't let anybody stop you, don't let anybody dictate you about your happiness. Nobody knows better than you about what really makes you happy. It's OK if you do not cook one day, Its OK if you have made a slip on your responsibility one day, its OK if you are not a CEO of any company, Its OK if you cannot make round chapatis, Its OK to be a girl even when you have crossed that age. Its OK! Relax! Celebrate yourself! Sometimes its OK to be selfish.Its not a crime to think about yourself. Get out of that guilt feeling. You have right to be happy. Its a wonderful life. Judge yourself and the criteria should be your happiness quotient and not success quotient. Stay relevant and stay happy! Anybody who tries to give you too much Gyan ( read unwanted advise), show them their place. Don't take too much criticism and loose your moral. Give it back, left, right & center! Its not wrong to protect your self respect. Respect everyone only to the extent it does not break your spine! Take your Stand, Speak up!  I am a woman..a strong independent woman..and I love myself for whatever I am!

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